This weeks lesson: CONFIDENCE

con·fi·dence (kŏn'fĭ-dəns) n.
Trust or faith in a person or thing.
A trusting relationship: I took them into my confidence.
That which is confided; a secret: A friend does not betray confidences.
A feeling of assurance that a confidant will keep a secret: I am telling you this in strict confidence.
A feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance.
The state or quality of being certain: I have every confidence in your ability to succeed.
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Confidence is often misinterpreted as being something that you are "born with" or that only a selected group are given, the "lucky-few" are awarded; Like it is some sort of object to obtain, like the golden egg or the conch. It often seems like confidence is some secret ability, a super-heroes power, contained in a magical wand and within the power of the wand lies the secrets to confidence. If I could only get my hands on that wand! Well I hate to break it to you but confidence is about belief. Pretty simple huh. Self-belief that you, as you are, with your hair, your skin, your face, your size, your name, your YOU- has value and meaning as an individual. Not many people realize that being confident is a skill you can learn, and maintaining it is just like maintaining a hairstyle, a relationship or a car.

In our lives we are influenced by many things and many people. These influences can affect the development or annihilation of self-confidence. This can start as early as birth, with the acceptance of the parents to the child. If you were born as "an accident" or as a "surprise gift", that can easily be translated as "I am not wanted" or "I am not to supposed to be here ". This attitude can progressively become feelings of being incapable, inadequate, or inferior. How do we become aware of this at such a young age?

My answer to that question is through the recognition and sharing of Love. Even a child who is orphaned or abandoned, has the experience of love. Loving a favorite toy, an imaginary friend, a tree... the feeling of love if fully embraced, can assist in the growth of confidence, self-reliance and faith. Believing in and being aware of love, at whatever capacity, in whatever direction, creates the foundation for confidence. We are capable of loving and therefore we are all capable of being confident. This, however, is not so black and white.

The lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability but is the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others. As long as you learn to believe in yourself and your talents, and you do what it takes to make those talents even stronger, there's no reason to ever think you're less needed, less skilled, or less important than anyone else!