lie
noun, verb,
lied, ly·ing.
–noun
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2.something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture:
3.an inaccurate or false statement.
4.the charge or accusation of lying
–verb (used without object)
5.to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive.
6.to express what is false; convey a false impression.
–verb (used with object)
7.to bring about or affect by lying (often used reflexively): to lie oneself out of a difficulty; accustomed to lying his way out of difficulties.
—Idioms
8.give the lie to,
a.to accuse of lying; contradict.
b.to prove or imply the falsity of; belie:
9.lie in one's throat or teeth, to lie grossly or maliciously
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Lasting relationships are built on credibility and trust. There is little that people will do for each other without some amount of trust. Truthfulness and trust are usually essential for goodwill. If one wishes to be believed when speaking the truth, one must have credibility. Credibility is also required if one is to be believed when lying.
Lying is communication with the intention of creating a false belief. A sarcastic statement which is not intended or expected to create a false belief is not a lie, even if it creates a false belief. If a statement is true, but the communicator believes it is false, it still counts as a lie.
Although self-deception is possible, it is difficult to accomplish with full consciousness and intention. Therefore, lying is most often done by one person to one or more others.
Lies are typically motivated by a desire to persuade others to act or to refrain from acting in a certain manner -- or to make decisions in one's favor. Sex, money, status, power, love -- anything desired can provide temptation to kill, steal or lie.
Most would agree that lying is more often than not used to manipulate the feelings, thoughts and actions of others in order to benefit the person doing the lying. People make all manner of excuses for sin but the reality is, there is no excuse for lying.
Being close to people requires being open and honest. Being close to another person means knowing intimately what is going on in the other persons heart and mind -- for better or worse -- and this usually requires communication and disclosure. Warts become visible when you are up-close-and-personal. Lying is far more work -- and the risk of exposure is far greater -- in a close relationship.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Jealousy: Can Ruin A Relationship
Jealousy[jel-uh-see]
–noun, plural -ous·ies
1.jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.
2.mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
4.a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.
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Jealousy how to deal with it? (taken from an article I found)
Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.
When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self-esteem.
Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!
Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.
Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each other’s physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.
Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that will leave you feeling worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your Jealousy.
Ask yourself where it is coming from.
Question why it makes you feel Jealous.
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.
Practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important ...practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.
–noun, plural -ous·ies
1.jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.
2.mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
4.a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jealousy how to deal with it? (taken from an article I found)
Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out, controlling it will become easier.
When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop! It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way. Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be, it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it can do great damage to your self-esteem.
Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!
Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.
Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each other’s physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.
Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that will leave you feeling worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:
Acknowledge your Jealousy.
Ask yourself where it is coming from.
Question why it makes you feel Jealous.
Make self-health and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion.
Practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important ...practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
This weeks Lesson: COMPASSION
com·pas·sion (kəm-păsh'ən)n.
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
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We define compassion as a feeling of sorrow or concern for another person's suffering or need accompanied by a subsequent desire to alleviate the suffering. This focuses on compassion as an emotion: a short-lived feeling that anyone may experience.
Empathy is considered a mirroring or vicarious experience of another's emotions, whether they be sorrow or joy. Sympathy, on the other hand, is a feeling of sorrow associated specifically with the suffering or need of another. Literally, it is fellow-feeling, and requires a certain degree of equality in situation or circumstances. This is in contrast to pity, which regards its object not only as suffering, but weak, and hence as inferior. Compassion is much like sympathy in that it stems from the suffering of another, but it also includes the need or desire to alleviate suffering.
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We define compassion as a feeling of sorrow or concern for another person's suffering or need accompanied by a subsequent desire to alleviate the suffering. This focuses on compassion as an emotion: a short-lived feeling that anyone may experience.
Empathy is considered a mirroring or vicarious experience of another's emotions, whether they be sorrow or joy. Sympathy, on the other hand, is a feeling of sorrow associated specifically with the suffering or need of another. Literally, it is fellow-feeling, and requires a certain degree of equality in situation or circumstances. This is in contrast to pity, which regards its object not only as suffering, but weak, and hence as inferior. Compassion is much like sympathy in that it stems from the suffering of another, but it also includes the need or desire to alleviate suffering.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
This weeks lesson: CONFIDENCE
con·fi·dence (kŏn'fĭ-dəns) n.
Trust or faith in a person or thing.
A trusting relationship: I took them into my confidence.
That which is confided; a secret: A friend does not betray confidences.
A feeling of assurance that a confidant will keep a secret: I am telling you this in strict confidence.
A feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance.
The state or quality of being certain: I have every confidence in your ability to succeed.
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Confidence is often misinterpreted as being something that you are "born with" or that only a selected group are given, the "lucky-few" are awarded; Like it is some sort of object to obtain, like the golden egg or the conch. It often seems like confidence is some secret ability, a super-heroes power, contained in a magical wand and within the power of the wand lies the secrets to confidence. If I could only get my hands on that wand! Well I hate to break it to you but confidence is about belief. Pretty simple huh. Self-belief that you, as you are, with your hair, your skin, your face, your size, your name, your YOU- has value and meaning as an individual. Not many people realize that being confident is a skill you can learn, and maintaining it is just like maintaining a hairstyle, a relationship or a car.
In our lives we are influenced by many things and many people. These influences can affect the development or annihilation of self-confidence. This can start as early as birth, with the acceptance of the parents to the child. If you were born as "an accident" or as a "surprise gift", that can easily be translated as "I am not wanted" or "I am not to supposed to be here ". This attitude can progressively become feelings of being incapable, inadequate, or inferior. How do we become aware of this at such a young age?
My answer to that question is through the recognition and sharing of Love. Even a child who is orphaned or abandoned, has the experience of love. Loving a favorite toy, an imaginary friend, a tree... the feeling of love if fully embraced, can assist in the growth of confidence, self-reliance and faith. Believing in and being aware of love, at whatever capacity, in whatever direction, creates the foundation for confidence. We are capable of loving and therefore we are all capable of being confident. This, however, is not so black and white.
The lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability but is the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others. As long as you learn to believe in yourself and your talents, and you do what it takes to make those talents even stronger, there's no reason to ever think you're less needed, less skilled, or less important than anyone else!
Trust or faith in a person or thing.
A trusting relationship: I took them into my confidence.
That which is confided; a secret: A friend does not betray confidences.
A feeling of assurance that a confidant will keep a secret: I am telling you this in strict confidence.
A feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance.
The state or quality of being certain: I have every confidence in your ability to succeed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence is often misinterpreted as being something that you are "born with" or that only a selected group are given, the "lucky-few" are awarded; Like it is some sort of object to obtain, like the golden egg or the conch. It often seems like confidence is some secret ability, a super-heroes power, contained in a magical wand and within the power of the wand lies the secrets to confidence. If I could only get my hands on that wand! Well I hate to break it to you but confidence is about belief. Pretty simple huh. Self-belief that you, as you are, with your hair, your skin, your face, your size, your name, your YOU- has value and meaning as an individual. Not many people realize that being confident is a skill you can learn, and maintaining it is just like maintaining a hairstyle, a relationship or a car.
In our lives we are influenced by many things and many people. These influences can affect the development or annihilation of self-confidence. This can start as early as birth, with the acceptance of the parents to the child. If you were born as "an accident" or as a "surprise gift", that can easily be translated as "I am not wanted" or "I am not to supposed to be here ". This attitude can progressively become feelings of being incapable, inadequate, or inferior. How do we become aware of this at such a young age?
My answer to that question is through the recognition and sharing of Love. Even a child who is orphaned or abandoned, has the experience of love. Loving a favorite toy, an imaginary friend, a tree... the feeling of love if fully embraced, can assist in the growth of confidence, self-reliance and faith. Believing in and being aware of love, at whatever capacity, in whatever direction, creates the foundation for confidence. We are capable of loving and therefore we are all capable of being confident. This, however, is not so black and white.
The lack of self-confidence is not necessarily related to lack of ability but is the result of focusing too much on the unrealistic expectations or standards of others. As long as you learn to believe in yourself and your talents, and you do what it takes to make those talents even stronger, there's no reason to ever think you're less needed, less skilled, or less important than anyone else!
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